| Whats up EMILY!!! |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|02:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Oh yeah.. Figured I'd give a shout or something..
Workin.. Playin some EQ2.. Bored.. yeah.. |
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| Well then.. |
[Sep. 6th, 2004|09:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
Havent been updating much lately, however, everything has been going really well..
Business is well, very slow as of late. Nothing is going on..
Jayme on the other hand has officially moved in over here. She is on the lease and everything :)
So.. Things are really good around here, and Im very happy. Enjoy your labor day everyone. |
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| Happy things |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|07:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Humming of computer fans. | ] |
Havent up'd in a while. Figured it was time too, things have been going well.
Business is kinda slow, not many new customers but we are working on that. Got Speck a Raptor muffler welded up for her, so shes pretty quiet now, however healthy sounding. Bills are still somewhat behind a bit, its only a matter of time before I can catch up on everything.
Sir is going to be moving out here soon. Got himself some job interviews out here last week, and his first two interviews worked out great. Sounds like the hospital out here really would like to hire him. He is currently in Pendleton moving out of his house. Saw Jeanie a few days ago, sounds like shes doing good. We might go visit her today.
Had some weird dreams last night which didnt really make any sense whatsoever. I was driving around a huge-ass mall looking for someone. I would look and look and could not find him/her. (really didnt know who I was looking for). Stop by the bar next to the mall. Go out and continue looking. Eventually ended up at home. (somewhere out in the sticks I suppose, like the outskirts of Toledo lookin) My old buddy DJ Thalman was there. I figure a roomie or something. Then I woke up..
Chris Butts stopped by last weekend out of the blue. Sometime Saturday morning. I went out and was talking to him for quite a while. His new little boy is gettin huge aparently and by the sound of it, CJ is bigger than his father now. Chris asked me, "have you been out lookin around for the honeys?" I kinda chuckled at him and told him no I havent. Not that I was doing much of that before, however I remember April told me one after that it seemed like I always had girls coming over here.. (I figure she always saw Emily, KT, Heather, or one of the neighbors over).
That brought up the interesting point. I wasnt, and havent been. Jayme is still staying here, and Im sure she will be staying here for quite sometime. (I hope anyways). I dont remember exactly when it happened, however one day/evening I guess she decided to move her status from live-in friend, to live-in girlfriend. Not that Im complaining or anything, Im very much happy about it. I really hope that things continue to work out well between us. Shes great, and the best part is, she doesnt get angry about stupid things. That surprised even Sir and Max. "She hasnt yelled at you once the whole time Dave" they would mention. No kidding?! Yeah. Its wonderful to have found a wonderful girl that doesnt just want to use me, or bitch at me all the time. Im very happy about it. Everything Ive looked for in a girl, is sleeping right now, behind me, in our bedroom/hole away from the world. |
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| How long? |
[Aug. 9th, 2004|02:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | *AC humming in the window* | ] |
How long will this last? How long will it take?? Chances are a long time, and not in good light. Hmm.. |
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| DooM 3 |
[Aug. 5th, 2004|06:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DooM 3 intro | ] |
Here I sit. With an actually brand new shiny copy of DooM 3. Its a pretty creepy game. Much better with the hi-res textures I might add.
My face is still swollen a bit, and my black eyes still remain. Im kinda sad in a way, yet happy in another.
I'd love to say, last night.. However, it was more of a this morning thing (about 1:30). Even after all I had told Jayme, she still continued in her venture to stay here at my place. Her "Jason" (has no correct term I suppose for what they had/have) really wanted her attention "this morning". Everyone knows what that means 99 percent of the time. I encouraged her too, as I understand how she feels about him (a bit more than she realizes).
One thing that got me though, on her way out the door (she left her stuff here) she told me that she would be back "tonight". I engross myself in the marvel of DooM for a while. Hadn't realized what time it was really. I figured it was getting late, so I sent a txt msg asking if I should lock my door or not.. (I guess kinda fishing in a way too see whats up). Continuing playing DooM. Eventually take a break. Holy shit. Its fuckin 5:30 in the morning.
Im happy for her that she is actually putting some effort forth in doing what she said she was going to do. Hopefully it works out for her. Wish her the best, I know I will. She deserves it. |
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| Morning (with broken nose) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2004|11:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None. | ] |
Yesterday was quite interesting. Ruger broke my nose. Andy re-set it for me. Now I've got a swollen face. heh. Serves me right I suppose. Things happen for a reason. I still dont know why though.
Im not confused, just blah I suppose. I dont know what to do. Probably nothing. Just distance myself a bit, and let things be. Its worthless for me to do anything else that I want to do.. Just shut up and leave it alone. |
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| blah.. |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|06:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pantera - Walk | ] |
Never ever good enough.. |
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| Altec Lansing? |
[Jul. 12th, 2004|01:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Slipknot - Everything Ends | ] |
Like I knew what to name this post. Who cares?
The "radio" has spoken. The decision has been made.. I cant believe some of the things that have been happening lately.. Like, the better I feel, something else comes up that just irritates the hell out of me.
So.. Here is tomorrow.. Perhaps Emily will call me, and we can head out to the bar or something.. That would be nice.. Havent been there in a little while. Ive been hiding in my hole. |
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| Living... |
[Jul. 3rd, 2004|10:16 am] |
Woke up this morning a little earilier than usual. Poored myself a cup of coffay. Wondering what I should cook Jayme and I for breakfast. Am I screwing things up still? Things are great otherwise.
I do still miss hanging out with Bradley. I treated that little boy much better than his mother ever did. Makes me feel kinda bad for him. I know his mother just waits for Friday evening to roll around, so she can pawn him off on someone else, and go out and whore around or something (whatever in the hell she is doing these days).
Thats about the only thing thats bothering me lately. I knew it was going to be tough to forget about Bradley. |
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| cell (internet post) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Punisher - Soundtrack | ] |
This has taken some doing to be able to do on my phone. That may not matter, However, Ive learned some things tonight.
I feel bad for my father. The woman he is married to today, is treating him much like Angela has treated me.. Barb spilled some beans to my father about what Angela has done. (The truth finally does reveal itself). He feels that Barb is doing much the same thing to him.
The dishonesty and hate, its not a good thing. Angela should probably have never told Barb the things she told her. (Or even hinted towards). Doesnt matter really. Angela treated me in a horrible manner, and in some time, showed me (I lived with her) that she didnt care about her son. Lord only knows why.
Angela is a very dishonest person. (Much like Barb at this point, perhaps they laugh today and think its funny that they both are playing/played my father and I). Regardless. Raymond and Marie. I love you both. You accepted me, and respected me. Something that Angela never did. I really do appreciate that. Thank you for your love and kindness.
The "wheels of war" were sent into motion long ago. Perhaps thats why I still hear of things today. (Im sure of it actually).. It took a while, however, I get an email now and again, or an IM or whats going on. I dont really want to hear about it anymore, however, I still do today.
I hear that Angela is cheating on Peter. I wonder if he knows. If she has had the "gall" enough to tell him, if the information is true. Makes me doubt even more if she ever loved me to begin with, or if she was just using me. (I still do miss that little boy).
Today, I sit here, and say. I've lost a lot because of her, however, at the same time, Ive gained so much more. I dont even know what to say about it, other than write this. It certainly doesnt hurt anymore, however the "wheels of war" continue to turn, and Im sure that for quite a while, I'll hear of things for while regardless if I want to hear them or not.
(This just now took 30 minutes on a cellphone, and its for the world the hear). |
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| ahemm.. |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|03:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hubcap Annie | ] |
Just sitting here fixing some computers right now. Havent really had time to chat with people lately, having job interviews n stuff..
Otherwise.. I've taken this afternoon off to fix some computers.. Listening to Andy's band Hubcap Annie. Good stuff.. I like it..
*debating on a barbeque tonight* That would be cool. I might have to go get more beer though.. Getting low on that.. I finally did get around to listening to the message on my machine that I was scared about listening too. *shrugs*.. Not sure what to think about that yet. I merely have to thank God. I could have gotten something, but I didnt. *Lucky sometimes I suppose* Doctor just wanted to double check. I guess I'll just pray that someone else can be as lucky as I was. |
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| Wow.. |
[Jun. 21st, 2004|03:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
The drive in was awesome last night.. Its been a long time since I've been to a drive in. Met some really cool people out there as well ;)
I cant tell you how great I feel today. Just plain awesome. (A little disappointed in the front tire on my car that Angela kept telling me she was going to have fixed and never did). However, one of these days I'll get around to getting some fix-a-flat or something and help her to hold air.
As well, this morning, I realized something about where I live. I always kinda wondered why no one (Andy himself) never really came over to visit or hang out much. It was because they didnt like Angela and her attitude. Kinda bummed around a little bit this morning while installing a stereo into Karon's bug, and like everyone I knew saw me outside, walked over to visit.
I had to ask why they never would come over to say hello before (like months ago), and the basic response was, they didnt want to be in her company. (Andy informed me that he didnt like the way she treated me, so he didnt like her).
What the hell had I been doing? She had been pushing all of these wonderful people away from both of us. Well.. Im glad its been done.. I finally get to visit with all of these wonderful people again.. Good stuff.. |
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| Remembering |
[Jun. 16th, 2004|09:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fox 12 - Good Day Live | ] |
Angela, remember how we used to goto Applebees all the time? Have a few drinks, and talk about our day.
Remember when you first met my dad, when he came here one fathers day to go racing with us?
Remember the fun we used to have hanging out with Allie and Ryan? Remember the fun we used to have hanging out with Chris when he lived above us? Or Ellen and her husband and kids?
Remember the good times we used to have at Bonanza Raceway? All the people that we met, and talked with. Remember driving around in the Studebaker? Or even meeting most of extended family from my dads side. My uncles, my aunt, my grandparents.. They all wished us well..
Remember those times, that you were just happy to be here with me, alone, watching a movie, or just watching TV, cuddling on the couch. Remember when you said you would teach me to dance? I still want to learn.
Remember those times, we were trying to help Mary and Scott? Yeah, they are still together, and Scott is still pretty clueless about what Mary does to him. The worst part is, she is very mean to him as well..
Remember when we used to watch Nascar at the one bedroom apartment? Do laundry and drink beer. Remember when we used to actually have fun cleaning the place together.
Remember working at AutoZone together? How you used to take my keys so I couldnt go home, because you wanted me to stay there after I got off work. Remember when I used to just go up and visit you there? Remember going to Tonys diner just to have lunch? Or even remember Moms little coffee shop, and how she thought it was great that we had been happy and together for so long.
Remember how you wanted to get married, and have a family? You were very happy about this stuff. Even your family was very excited about it. Especially your mother.
There are all kinds of other things, that we shared together in our lives, and were happy about it. Some are not to be mentioned, however, I do remember them, and I cannot believe that you were not happy about all of them. I just really wish I knew for sure, what made you unhappy and when. I told you at one point, that I feel like Im living with a roommate, and I saw that you were unhappy, you just never told me why. You didnt want to talk about it.
What has happened now, Im certain hasnt helped. At the same time, I remember that we talked after you left, and we both felt this would be good for helping our relationship. I guess Ive really screwed up some things, I was only trying my best to "win" you back and fix things. I cant say everyone, because its certainly not.. People have told me that you arent worth it. Well, that person that I fell in love with (she fell in love with me as well) is still in there somewhere. I cant wait around for her, but perhaps on my path through life, we'll meet again, and be able to make things work later on.
Im off to the bank now, gotta get some cash out, and go do something productive. |
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| LDWS? (The wiseman) |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|02:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | KoRn - Fake | ] |
I have spoken with a respected member of LDWS this afternoon. Yeah yeah, the LDWS may not be "official" anymore, however at the same time, its still the thought that counts. This LJ was gone over, and we both came to the conclusion, that it was a flaming pile of crap.
Harsh feelings on the outside, shouldnt mask what one feels on the inside. As once said before, I will indeed do, what should be right. Regardless of the outcome (which has indeed I feel come to a conclusion) it doesnt matter, as long as I follow the path that is laid before me. I will follow it. Happiness and being true to yourself, its not a destination, its an ongoing journey. It has extreme highs, as well as extreme lows. The journey of life, and I will try to enjoy every minute of it..
I feel I dont know the complete truth about a lot of things that have gone on in my life since I have moved back from California, to here in Oregon. Its tough to say, because Ive met quite a few story tellers. As well, I have built a lot of trust for some others. I should not ignore that trust, regardless. I can only feel what I feel, and try and understand the things that people have done to cause me to feel this way.
Its quite sad actually. Right now, at this very moment, I should be extremely upset, angry, or hell, even crying. Im not however. Im actually quite content and happy where I am. I cant say that I dont wish for things to be different, but at least I can say that I tried. Im happy about that. I can be happy that Im here, and not there. I can be happy that Im not dead. Not that Ive always been a generally happy person, but being run over by a Ford truck seriously helped my outlook on life at that point in time.
Someone was looking out for me that day. Someone has a plan for me. I will continue to journey, until Ive completed what has been planned for my life. Until then, I will keep my eyes open and forward, as to not stumble on my way.
Well spoken words by a wise man, who pointed me in a good direction. He indeed has faith in my strength of character. He himself has experienced many things, and knows that it all comes together in the end, everything will be good and happy, and if its meant to be on your path, it will come someday. Thank you for your kind words, and wisdom.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
P.S. - This is for Angela Rae Ferns and her family, for the respect they deserve, and for forgiveness. |
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| Boredom.. |
[May. 11th, 2004|11:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
Dont you just hate getting bored sometimes.. Seems there is nothing you can really do to make it go away.. I just want to stop being bored.. Its like Im too bored to even play UT.. Horrible.. |
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